Ex Cathedra

That which does not kill us has made its last mistake

14 Jul

Being a Male Feminist Ally

Amber Rhea, who is on top of my list of the people I would hate the most to have after me when I do wrong, wrote a brilliant list of how to be a feminist ally. I won’t quote them all here. Read them on her site and the sites she’s linked to.

I can add only one more: be clear to yourself and transparent to others about who your words and actions are really empowering.

And no sooner did I post this than I heard many of the ramifications of “feminist” and “advocate” Kyle Payne allegedly assaulting a woman.

I’m gravely suspicious of the whole “advocate” role Payne claimed. Exactly who does that role empower?

My put is there are no advocates, there are no male feminists, there are no allies, there are no cookies.

There are only people doing the right thing with people they respect and care about. If we men can’t be clear with ourselves and transparent with others about what’s behind our words and actions, we’re being useless or worse. And if we aren’t inner directed enough to take that, we need to tough it out.

2 Responses to “Being a Male Feminist Ally”

  1. 1
    Amber Says:

    Thanks for the link.

  2. 2
    hysperia Says:

    Wow. Do I ever like what you’re saying here. I’ve had a difficult time trying to figure out how to express my suspicion of the whole Kyle Payne enterprise, the blog, the “feminist advocacy”, all of it, without attracting the “you just hate men” types. It’s awfully cool when a guy is willing to say it.

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