Ex Cathedra

I wrote my white Republican Congressman, Angry Mo Brooks:

You and Boehner promised us jobs, jobs, jobs. What you gave us was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And you voted to kill Medicare. Twice!

Where’s the jobs bill, Angry Mo?

You learn the coolest stuff when you get on Republicans’ mailing lists. Here’s one from Angry Mo Brooks’s campaign. Some emphasis added:

Hello Campaign Volunteer:

Reminder – On Saturday, March 19, we will be having a dutch-treat pizza party for all the campaign volunteers. Please join us at 11:30 a.m. at Cici’s Pizza on South Memorial Parkway in Huntsville (10004 Memorial Pkwy SW # B, Huntsville, AL 35802). Come out and hear from Mo and Martha about what’s been happening in Washington during the first few months of his term. If you have not already done so, please help us to let the restaurant know how many people to expect by filling out a short form on the web site:

http://mobrooksforcongress.com/?page_id=679. If you have already filled out the form – THANKS ! We hope to see you there!

Sincerely,

Bruce Tucker

The world’s cheapest pizza place, and Mo won’t even pay for it?

And, of course, it’s in the whitest part of Huntsville.

RupertVision has a scary, scary story about pedophiles on FaceBook. It probably involves lots of Negroes. This has nothing to do with Harry Reid holding GOP senators’ feet to the fire on shipping  American jobs overseas.

Later: Republican logic carried the day! Stockholder profits create American jobs. Sending American jobs overseas increases stockholder profits. Therefore sending American jobs overseas creates American jobs!

Karl Rove  seems to have picked Dana Perino as spokesman for his family to field questions about his recent divorce.

How dysfunctional do you have to be to pick Dana Perino as your spokesman?

If Dana Perino were the spokesman for the Snuggie, most people wouldn’t believe it’s made out of cloth.

I see some headlines about “Jeff Gannon” in Karl’s future.

The Parker Griffith Story is being reported by the Alabama Council of Conservative Citizens under their banner “EQUAL RIGHTS FOR SOUTHERN WHITES”

North Alabama Democrat Congressman Parker Griffith becomes Republican « Alabama Council of Conservative Citizens.

I love conservative Southern White people. They put it right out there, don’t they?

Here’s a more insightful comment by someone who’s a member of our species.

Money quote (from DavidNYC at Kos):

It’s important to remember that to remain a member in good standing of the conservative movement, it isn’t enough just to vote a certain way. You have to evidence a very particular tribal belonging – you need to hate the right people, be ignorant of the right facts, be fearful of the right bogeymen, and be arrogant about the whole enterprise. If you somehow fail this tribal litmus test, it doesn’t matter how right-wing you are.

- Les Phillip December 2009 Commercial [YouTube].

Since Parker Griffith is going to switch to the GOP, the 2010  election  in the mostly White Alabama 5th District might get interesting.

Griffith refused to campaign for Obama in 2008 or for his Alabama State Senate colleague Vivian Figures who was running against notorious racist Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. Griffith, a child of segregation, brings the genteel racism card much beloved by Alabamians, while Phillip brings the crazy.

Stock up on popcorn. Kind of a shame they both can’t lose.

Healthcare reform marks the spot where Republicans dealt themselves out of American politics and became officially irrelevant. It was all about conservadems versus the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party.

Just in case you thought you’d reached the the bottom of the list of Bush’s horrible appointments, imagine:

a member of the oversight board of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum who doesn’t like Jews (SPLC.

Because, as James  Von Brunn pointed out recently, the Holocaust Memorial Museum is way too Jewy,

Ohio’s orange Congressman introduced a resolution in favor of Christmas (Wonkette).

This is a clever trap because there’s nobody the majority of Americans hate worse than the Baby Jesus.

Yesterday Grover Norquist’s think tank presented a debate among the candidates for RNC chairmanship, the only significant national leadership position left that the Republicans could compete for. You can find the debate on C-SPAN.  I wouldn’t recommend it. From the excerpts I’ve seen, the questions were as expected and so were the answers. It was pretty boring, except for the part where most candidates said they thought Warren G. Harding was a bad Republican President.

I’d been tipped off to a website where Republicans could suggest questions for the debate. Some of the questions that didn’t make it into the debate were wonderfully interesting. I snagged a few of them before they disappeared into oblivion. And I swear I’m not making these up:

• Should the GOP tell social conservatives to go join the
  Constitutional Party and the fiscal conservatives go join the
  libertarian party?
• The Democrats have a communications advantage over Republicans thanks
  to the support they receive from their ideological comrades in the
  establishment media. What ideas do you have towards overcoming this
  advantage so the Republican side of the story gets heard?
• Since our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution are
  historical proof that our nation was birthed by the One Living God
  Jehovah of Israel to be a light unto the world of the attendant
  blessings bestowed on any people that walk according to His covenant
  and since we have forsaken this mantel, over a very lengthy period, by
  continually forcing Him to the side, will you guide this party back to
  its knees in biblical repentance, seeking His will for our nation and
  how to achieve it, and furthermore, how would you do it?
• Should states be allowed to withdraw from the union by a vote of the
  citizens of that state? If not, why not if the people of the US are
  free peoples?
• How is any form of gun control permitted by the constitution? Follow
  up: If someone is not permitted to own a gun such as convicted fellons
  how can you justify allowing them to own cars seeing as how cars kill
  more people then guns?
• When are we going to quit wasting our time and money supporting the
  unnatural state of Israel?
• Please explain to me (with actual references from the U.S.
  Constitution), how each of the following is clearly Constitutional, or
  if you feel they are not, state that, and why: Public education for
  minors or otherwise; A National Health Care program of any kind ; Any
  part of (or as a whole) the Welfare system; Social Security; The
  Federal Reserve; The “wars” on Drugs and Terror; Restrictions on any
  kind on Firearms; The Bailout or any other Government intervention in
  the Market. Thank you.
• Will you support an RFID Right to Know Act that will allow us to make
  our own decisions about RFID? We have a right to know when products
  containing tracking devices could jeopardize our privacy or violate
  our principles. Also the Real ID Act must never see the light of day
  (KILL THE BILL)–will you make such a pledge?
• Did you know that there is a campaign to make sure Ron Paul
  supporters don’t get their questions heard at this “debate”? Looks
  like the “powers that be” don’t want this to be fair or to let The
  People have their say: Look here:
  http://www.thenextright.com/patrick-ruffini/good-questions-to-vote-fo…
• In light of the humiliation Minnesota is suffering in its Senatorial
  election, and the obvious failures of our reliance on the Central
  Government, do you think it would be a good idea to debate the repeal
  of the 16th, and 17th amendment to the constitution and the repeal of
  the Federal Reserve Act?

Given the dates on these suggested questions, it’s not likely that the netroots found out soon enough to slip in some spoof questions of their own. We’re going to need a secular version of Poe’s Law: Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it’s impossible to tell the difference between the things Republicans say and parodies of things Republicans say.