Twitter Tools just posted a huge pile of tweets, starting with tweets it saved last Fall. I weeded them out and here they are! Keep a good thought.

• There’s nothing wrong with America that couldn’t have been cured at the end of the War of Slaveholder Treason with a few thousand nooses. #
• Happy Constitution Day, Americans. The document that made us one nation, indivisible, but always busy patching the damage from vandals. #
• Heard Rachel report on missile defense. I worked on that program. Hideous waste. No chance of working. You could fool it with a balloon. #
• Old segregationist Parker Griffith (D-AL-5) wrote. He’s not too fond of Mexicans either. #
• Did Myers & Briggs know basing a psychological instrument on Carl Jung’s theories is like picking Harry Potter to fly a 747? #
• Plans to celebrate his birthday next week by buying…TIRES! #
• Jimmy Carter was right but only half right. Some people just can’t handle change. It frightens them. The rest of us were born to surf. #
• J. Beauregard Sessions wrote “Never mind that the GOP lost,. US is still conservative. I DO believe in fairies. I DO believe in fairies.” #
• Old segregationist Parker Griffith (D-AL-5) wrote, won’t vote to repeal DOMA. #
• Michael Shermer » 100+ Scientific American columns online. Free! http://ow.ly/qErx #
• We got flu shots yesterday at a Walgreens full of children & grouchy seniors who don’t look all that well. Are we better or worse off? #
• Being old means looking for a girl who’s interested in radiometric dating. #
• Allergy season science problem: all 8 sinuses are draining down my throat..Am I gaining or losing weight? #
• My entry for Blasphemy Day- Fuck the corpse of Jesus. #
• Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has been stalling Dawn Johnsen’s appointment to OLC for 9 months. What’s he afraid she might find? #
• I don’t just want lolcats, I NEED lolcats. #
• Repubs only have 3 or 4 things to say: small govt, Negroes are scary, yay guns! – which means you have to be the screechiest or be invisible #
• I hath not the Corruption of his Bowles & Organs. Perhaps a good Bleeding will restoar my  Humours to their proper Proportion. #
• Just got my first hate snailmail from HSV. Angry, stereotypical, inchoate, anonymous, ALL CAPS. If it took this long, I’ve been too slack. #
• The only Repub with any sense is Lindsey Graham. Time to spread the word that he’s a gay abortionist. #
• The only thing conservatives deserve from us is resistance to everything they stand for. #
• Any politics that lacks the concept of privilege is a politics for psychopaths. #
• The phrase “butt floss” had hardly entered my mind. Until now. Now I seldom think of anything else. Thanks, Sara Whitman. Better warn my friends. #
• The Ghosts by Robert Green Ingersoll – Project Gutenberg http://ow.ly/td3e For once, something about religion Americans can be proud of. #
• Antibiotic pill label says to avoid taking aluminum & magnesium. Can I still take my daily tablespoonful of cesium? #
• The scandal about Rush Limbaugh nobody wants to talk about: he’s a follower. He takes stories & opinions others make up & recites them. #
• If the outrage at the Nobel prize comes mainly from US conservatives, they just emphasize their own alienation from the rest of the world. #
• My younger son says Obama should give the Nobel prize money to ACORN. #
• Parker Griffith (D-AL-5) voted again not to extend law enforcement protection to the people he calls “thuh faggots.” #
• perfect word to practice the Pittsburgh O: onnat. A hint of “oh” but absolutely no diphthinging (e.g., the Boston O where Bob = “boab”) #
• Called an old Xian neighbor, I said “it must have been tough when you came out against segregation.” He muttered something . He was for it! #
• This is no time to think of myself. It’s time to think of my country. America needs more dick jokes. #
• I am not sorry about calling my neighbor. He was a white minister in the segregated south and never said a word. He was an enabler of evil. #
• Suppose climate change isn’t totally manmade. It’s obviously happening. OK conservatives, what will you do to minimize its effects? Tell us. #
• Morality is doing what’s right, no matter what you’re told. Religon is doing what you’re told, no matter what’s right – after Andy Thomson #
• I have crates of armadillos going in & out of here all the time. There’s quite a bit of money to be made in armadillo futures. #
• Old saying: when you beat a guy in an argument, leave him his balls. I always wondered: Why? #
• Why do I say conservatives are un-American? Wrong question. First let them prove what species they are. We can get to nationality later. #
• Time for Atheism 4.0: All believers will writhe in excruciating agony for all eternity in a lake of fire. #
• A USB drive makes a good bed warmer. So does a lover, but you can’t store all your porn on a lover. #
• Sorting The Liars From The Loonies | The New Republic http://ow.ly/vFcv Beautiful thought experiment. Let’s try it on anti-gay preachers. #
• Atlas Shrugged is the first book in which the villain is the person reading it. http://is.gd/4vHQa (LJ metaquotes) #
• The Chomskybot http://ow.ly/w7Av The world’s most indecipherable writer computerized for your protection. #
• Closing The Book On The Bush Legacy http://ow.ly/w7Of “On every major measurement, the country lost ground during Bush’s two terms.” #
• A Comparative Portrait of Conservative and Progressive Religious
  Activists in the 2008 Election and Beyond (pdf) http://ow.ly/w7Pv #
• My neighbor, an old man who was privileged by segregation, didn’t like this bill. Suck on this, Bob, you lose again. http://ow.ly/wayc #
• J Beauregard Sessions III snailmailed: “The PATRIOT Act has, without a doubt, made us immeasurably safer.” Libertarians & Repubs, agree? #
• Does 4way nasal spray come in quart size?Time for pink penguinade. #
• Fed govt gave us tyranny like the Civil Rights Act. State govts protected our liberties with literacy tests, poll taxes and segregation. #
• “The only bad thing about masturbation is you don’t meet any interesting people that way”? You must not have tried it in Wal-Mart. #
• I disagree with what you say but i’ll fight to the death to defend your right to suck my dick, you fucking moron. #
• Why F1 > NASCAR part 872: Bob Varsha opened yesterday’s pre-race show with a quote from a poem by Coleridge. Your turn .au V8 supercars. #
• If you possess eternal truths, by definition they never change. You have nothing new to say & nobody wants to hear the same old crap again. #
• Our greatest allies are education, urbanization, and the Grim Reaper. I hope to live long enough to throw dirt on the coffins of our foes. #
• For equality and lots of other things, there’s only two times: now and not-now. Only one of them counts. #
• There’s a gap between the White South and America. It’s the width of a dirt road, but Southern people prefer not to cross it. Me too. #
• Words to live by: “Nobody ever paid to see UNDER the top.” – Joel Shumacher to Minnie Driver #
• Ceci n’est pas une microblogging entry. #
• Texas style howdy to Field Negro for the phrase of the week: “Loon Star State.” Even if it’s old it isn’t about Palin or Prejean thank God. #
• This day God wants you to know… that you might be mistaken about whether gods are real. #
• This day God wants you to know… that Thor was probably a better bet than Yahweh for Pascal’s Wager. #
• Fertility is genetically determined. If your parents didn’t have any children, odds are, you won’t either. #DarwinOriginDay #
• Home happy from great Thanksgiving w family in Pasadena & high desert #
• Thinking about becoming ex-gay? Ted Haggard’s case shows the fundies are still going to hate you anyway http://is.gd/5bSHy #
• **SNOW!******* #
• Snow is all gone here in Alabama. Everything this hick state does is half-assed. #
• There was some sort of amateur athletic exhibition in ATL. Patrick called us just before the end on our tivo to tell us Rosebud was a sled. #
• likes spooning. With knives. #
• I was just doing my prostate exercises. Why was I standing outside your window? Oh. Uh, merry Christmas. #
• Blow hot air in my face and I’ll tell you military secrets##aggravations #
• I’ve spent my life with people who can’t imagine that if you stack random crap on work surfaces you can’t work on them#aggravations #
• If people won’t leave a clear path to the washer & dryer, we might as well not have a washer &dryer#aggravations #
• My family are living proof why classes in ergonomics should be compulsory#aggravations #
• My life has gone badly wrong when, with corpses stacking up in Haiti, I’ve got #aggravations about where to put all my shit. #
• Rice must not be called “rice” any more. It should be called “food filler.” Like wood filler, but not as tasty. #
• just watched a pot. It boiled. #
• Is Conservistan really isolated or is it like a sludge pond leaking toxic effluent into our drinking water? #
• Yeah, that punk overgrown rat saw his shadow, but that means the maple festival is probably going to be great. http://pamaplefestival.com/ #
• Watching a traffic jam run round&round&round an oval track puts me to sleep faster than ether. NASCAR is loud golf. #
• After 2 earnest tries, it’s unescapable: the noise and inhuman pace of Wall-E are freaking annoying. #
• If you don’t like Brown people, Parker Griffith is your guy: http://is.gd/7QDu4 (warning: right-wing anti-immigration site) #
• If your church won’t speak out against Christian hate groups like Focus on the Family walk away. While your friends will still talk to you. #
• Using the Dobbshead as my very own icon is heretical. Which makes it mandatory! O Hai Rev. Ivan Stang if you’re out there, let’s get it on. #
• You can take 1 step now to move your church toward advocating for equality & against hate. Then another & another. History is watching. #

Powered by Twitter Tools